You want to ask her out, but you don't want to come off as creepy. You might not even be sure what being creepy means. You just know that you don't want to hear those terrible words of rejection or a look of disgust when you go to ask her out or try to make a move.
Well, in this article, I'm going to explain exactly what creepiness is and how you can not only avoid it but become instantly magnetized with her so that she wants more of your time and attention.
What is Creepiness?
There's no reason to think that your intentions towards a woman are creepy. Not if you resonate with being an honest and heartfelt guy. I mean, you might even be afraid to talk to her but that doesn't make you creepy.
Being creepy happens when you hide your true intentions. Trouble is, you might not even realize you're doing it.
Men don't want to come off as creepy and women don't want creepy men. And in case you were wondering, yes, men can also feel creeped out.
But what exactly is creepiness?
Creepiness comes from desperation. It's the need for something in your life that you can't give yourself. A lack of something and thinking that SHE will give it to you.
Maybe it's sex, or validation that you're lovable, or perhaps as a status symbol because her appearance is seen as beautiful. But you're afraid to be straightforward about what it is about her you want, so you have to be sneaky in order to get it because you don't think she'd give you what you want any other way.
Because you feel unworthy of her time and attention on some level.
A simpler definition (according to the women that I've known):
It's when you act out of congruence with your intentions.
I find it's way easier to reduce it down to just calling it, "being a sneaky bastard"
Many men are afraid to simply have a conversation with a woman because they don't want to come off as creepy, or even worse, pushy.
Don't Pretend to Be Different Than What You Are
The only way you're going to come off as creepy is if you try to act or be a certain way so that she likes you. If you try to use lines or tactics or try to "do something" to get a result as opposed to just connecting with another human being.
You are doing "sneaky bastard" things.
Sure you're attracted to her. Big deal, that's normal. Men ARE generally attracted to women. It's a common thing and it's to be expected. Why would you try to hide that?
Hiding Your Insecurity
When you hide your intentions, it feels sneaky, even though you think you're just trying to protect yourself. The way you act, and your voice tonality, your body language, your vibe, all of it feels suspicious. To her, it feels like you are unworthy of her time and attention and that you are putting her on a pedestal.
That doesn't convey a powerful man.
It conveys a man who needs to be lead in life. To be given permission to go for what he wants. Presumably by her. Which also makes her feel like a mommy, and that you need to be taken care of by her. That's incredibly unattractive to her, even repulsive. She NEEDS to feel your personal power, she NEEDS a grown ass man, a man who's secure and loves himself. She WANTS to be lead by a strong and loving man, not to be his mommy.
By being anything other than your heartfelt and unapologetic self you'll start giving off a creepy vibe.
She can feel this lack of congruence in your energy, your body language, the way you look at her, and the tone of her voice. Her inner self-defense mechanism goes, "Something isn't right here, I think there is an attempt to deceive me." She intuitively feels creeped out and wants to run away because of the perceived danger.
And it's true. You're not being authentic.
This is why I stress being Unapologetic so much at Genuine Attraction. You see, if you're hiding your true intentions, you're being a "sneaky bastard." Taken to it's extreme she could even fear for her safety from a man who's incredibly desperate for what he believes he needs from her.
When you're acting like you don't like her because you're afraid of rejection.
When she can see you talking "nice" but can feel your insatiable lust underneath that. When she can see you being helpful, but can literally FEEL your need for validation behind it. When she can see you offering a favor but can FEEL that there are strings attached.
She'll feel creeped out.
You see, weak men, men who do not have faith in their ability to succeed in life, their innate intrinsic worth, or who can't internally validate themselves and feel worthless, will try to trick women into liking them. Because they feel unworthy, that they can't honestly get her to like him any other way. They say to themselves, "Why would any woman truly like me?"
Authentic Weakness or Fake Power?
Men who are successful with women, who are proud of their life, who can succeed, and have love and faith in themselves don't need to do this because women ARE already attracted to them.
That kind of man has personal power and it shows in how successful he is in life, and he has a sense of security because of his ability to kick his own ass and move his life forward.
Women have developed, over time, a sense of a man trying to fake it, of "being more than he is". And men who don't believe in their own intrinsic value will try to pull the wool over her eyes. To steal sex. Men like this are willing to "steal" whatever they can get.
Insecure men do this all the time.
You might know a few. Maybe this describes you, if you're truly honest.
They try to "dress cool" or show off their money, or go to the gym to look strong, or speak overly loud and boisterous and brag in order to mask the MASSIVE insecurity underneath it all. Or they try to be subtle by "friending" attractive women and hanging around them waiting for an opportunity.
They look around constantly to see if women are "attracted" to him, they have no problem trying to sneakily attract any woman, a man's girlfriend, or even his wife, even if HE's already married. Even if he's your best friend. If your friend is like this he might even try to sabotage your relationship if you have a particularly attractive wife.
A man who's living in abundance isn't concerned with your girlfriend or your wife. In fact, he's got options and isn't going to even entertain going down that road. Why would he come after someone already in a committed relationship if he's got offers from several other (often very attractive women) lined up wanting to get him into a committed relationship?
So you see there's no need to ever be jealous.
And the sneaky ones will automatically repel her.
The True, Secure, and Unapologetic Man
Now, if you're a man with good intentions and you come from the heart and express who you are and your desires towards her in a way that's congruent with who YOU are, you won't provoke creepiness. This is all very natural when you are at ease with your sexuality and know that you are valuable. Because you are being sincere and coming from the heart, you can get away with saying some pretty crazy things. And it's because you aren't coming from a place of taking. Remember, you go to give.
By being honest in your intentions and making no apologies for the kind of man you are, because you know you are a good man with good intentions, you don't have to pretend to be something that she desires.
Now that doesn't always mean it will align with her values, and she may not be on board with that, but she won't find you creepy. She'll most likely feel flattered and probably still like you. Just because she doesn't want to date or go out with you doesn't mean she doesn't find you attractive, or that you aren't attractive in general! It just means for whatever reason she doesn't find you as a good match for her at that time. And that's a good thing! Trust me when I say she did you a favor and took the hard path of ending it first. Rejecting someone is never pleasant or easy.
When you go into a situation and you're being your True Self without looking to get something from her. When you go to give and simply see if there's a heartfelt connection there... then you'll be FREE to be who you are unapologetically without fear... because you'll have nothing to lose. You're already complete.
In fact, once you live in this secure space for a while, you'll find that losing yourself and acting out of desperation is an incredibly uncomfortable and a miserable way to live. You won't be able to tolerate it. It becomes a permanent way of approaching life that you don't have to forcefully maintain, unlike when you "try to be confident".
You see, you don't need to try to act like more than you are. Act exactly how you are in this present moment. Set yourself free from her expectations. Set yourself free from your own expectations and allow yourself to just rest in who you are, right now.
Your True, Secure, and Unapologetic Self.
The next time you find yourself attracted to a woman and want to strike up a conversation with her, remind yourself, "I am a good man with good intentions, and I'm not going to take anything from her. Let's see if we can connect from a deeper place."
If you're struggling with people calling you a creep, definitely check out this free video for accessing your mojo again. Afterwards you'll have the opportunity to schedule a call with us to see about joining our coaching program.